A zombie outbreak does have its perks. Don’t get me wrong. Living a normal life is so much better than walking around as a piece of reanimated, decaying flesh. As they say, when life throws you a lemon…. Meh, who cares? It’s not like I can taste it anyway.
I’m one of the millions infected with the Apocalyptic outbreak. We never stood a chance. I can’t even remember how it happened.
The plus side is that all crime stopped. That is, when the brunt of the zombie outbreak ended and normal people went into hiding. The streets have never been more peaceful. Occasionally, one of us will bump into a car or activate a house alarm. You would think it’s a Bruce Springsteen concert by the numbers that flock to noise. It usually ends in disappointment.
No more baths or concerns about body odor. All of us look like we are suffering from varying degrees of ultimate hangovers. The perpetual bad hair day doesn’t help our looks either.
We pretty much run the city. Heck, the world for all I know. No one around to harp at you to get a job, brush your teeth or go to bed. You can stay out all night for days and days. And sleep is a thing of the past.
I could do without the flies. If there is one downfall to a zombie outbreak, it’s the sheer number of those pests flying about, laying eggs in our carcass and being a real nuisance. A perpetual hell of always being too stiff and too slow to make a dent in the population.
It probably serves us right. After all, we are largely responsible for the annihilation of the human race. We are the 4 billion horsemen that brought about the zombie outbreak. I think that may have been a typo in religious scripture.
Time to go walk aimlessly around the city. Catch you later. Well, I can only hope.
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